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Bag of Hammers

Biography

The Story Begins in 1994.

Davey and Flyhead were attending the same high school when a mutual friend introudced them. Not hitting it off at first, they slowly realized they shared some of the same interests. They Immiediately built a studio in Daveys Grandparents Basement called "DEF MONKEY". Calling theirselves BAG OF HAMMERS, they recorded an E.P. named "The Titti Demo". Davey's Uncle Gravey even supplied them with BAG OF HAMMERS Magnets from his magnet factory. Davey and Flyhead spent all summer mowing lawns to make enough money to release "The Tittie Demo" tape. The Guys packaged the magnets in the tape cases not realizing that magnets erase tapes.

1995 - Deeply saddened by their miscalculation, Davey and Flyhead decide to call it quits. Davey and Flyhead do not speak for several months.

1996 - Davey and Flyhead bump into eachother in the police station. Both of them have black eyes from seperate and unrelated beatdowns. Shortly after, Flyhead joins the Air Force. Davey goes off to recording school. Davey and Flyhead keep intouch.

1997 - Flyhead leaves the Air Force and heads back to Detroit to reform BAG OF HAMMERS with Davey. Davey and Flyhead get funding from I.H.S. Recordings. Bag of Hammers release a self recorded E.P. called "The Sample Rock" on tape....this time, without BAG OF HAMMERS Magnets inside. Davey also releases his first solo CD called "LSD" under the name "Home-Les". D.J. Postal is allowed to join BAG OF HAMMERS despite the fact that a gun fell out of his pants at his audition. BAG OF HAMMERS begin doing live shows. Nobody cares.

1998 - BAG OF HAMMERS sign a deal with indie lable DAVIES PRODUCTIONS to release "The Tittie Demo"........now re-recorded and being called "Back up, Junkie!" Davey and Flyhead pay the lable for studio time, once again, mowing lawns all summer. Half way thru recording the CD, DJ Postal goes to jail. BAG OF HAMMERS play one show during this time.

1999 - "Back up, Junkie!" is completed. D.J. Postal gets out of jail. The Lable informs BAG OF HAMMERS that they will not be able to release their cd. The Lable instead releases a CD from the band that the lable owner is a member of. BAG OF HAMMERS are forced to get real jobs but still are able to release "Back up, Junkie!" with the help of I.H.S. Recordings. Bag of Hammers Tour to support the CD but are forced off the road after several problems with D.J. Postal.

2000 - Bag of Hammers begin work on a new CD. After much debating, D.J. Postal is fired from BAG OF HAMMERS. Flyhead reclaims D.J. spot. Davey and Flyhead buy an abandoned Fire Station with some of their lawn mowing money. BAG OF HAMMERS open a Ghost-Busting Business called "The CRACK WHORES", which oddly enough, is quite sucessful. Still rapping in their spare time, I.H.S. Recordings release the "...when i ate your brain" E.P. and "Return of the Crack Whores" vol 1 and 2.

2001 - D.J. Flyhead is schedualed to begin work on a solo cd when he shatters his hand at the video shoot for "....when i ate your brain" and is unable to scratch. Davey is attacked while at work busting ghosts by a Werewolf. I.H.S. demands a new cd from BAG OF HAMMERS so Davey records "Heaven is a CRack House".

2002 - D.J.Flyhead is awarded a Championship Belt from I.H.S. Upon the release of "Mouthful of Barbwire", Flyhead is informed he must defent the title during BAG OF HAMMERS shows. The most memorable being a LADDER match against Davey at a show at the OLD MIAMI in Detroit.


Christmas 2002
- At the I.H.S. Records Christmas party, BAG OF HAMMERS and their new pal STEPHAN the RETARD cause an explosion in the FireStation. Davey and Flyhead are in turn Fired and lose the rights to their old recordings. The city of Detroit condems The Ghostformation Station.

2003 - Bag of Hammers begin recieving gifts from an annonymous sender. New Studio Equipment. Toys. Piles of Money. Bags of drugs. The sender turns out to be Mr. Question-Mark, a fan who saw them at the BACK UP, JUNKIE! CD RELEASE Party. Mr. Question-Mark signs BAG OF HAMMERS and Stephan the Retard to his World Championship Wrecords corporation. Davey opens "The Offices of WEED and COFFEE" recording studio, while across town, Flyhead and Stephan open the World Championship Wrecords Warehouse called "The Animal Factory". avey and Stephan the Retard record "the special olympics" ep and "i'm wee todd did" BAG OF HAMMERS release the smash hit "Bride of the AIDS BRAIN". Stephan the Retard begins touring with BAG OF HAMMERS.


The Adventures of Bag of Hammers: Extreme
(as told by Wendy The Lesbian Panda)

The next part of the story is where opinions differ, but this is the version most people agree on and also the version my grandma used to read me before bed as a little girl.

2004 - One day, Davey, Flyhead and Stephan were playing a wrestling video game and relaxing when a Telegram arrived at the Office. It was from Mr. Question-Mark, who was now making his residence in Europe somewhere. The Telegram stated that World Championship Wrecords had Re-Aquired The GHOSTFORMATION STATION. Davey and Flyhead were Shocked. "I Thought the city condemmed that Shit hole?" exclaimed Flyhead. Bag of Hammers were to go to the station and begin clean up.

After the Explosion, most of the Duct work was ruined. Bag of Hammers were to make nessacary repairs. Further directions stated they were to Re-Open the Ghostbusting Business for the Fall and begin work on the new Bag of Hammers Record "Return of the CrackWhores Vol.5" Silence Struck the room.

Davey, Flyhead and Stephan the Retard arrived at the door of the old Ghostformation Station early on a Saturday morning. After brewing a fresh pot of Coffee, they began the hefty task of cleaning. How could 2 people have done this much damage? Stephan quipped that it was unfair that he had to clean, since he wasn't part of the band at the time when Davey and Flyhead fucked everything up.

The major part of the damage was in Duct D, also known as The Ghost Prison. Upon entering, Bag of Hammers noticed the atmosphere was rich with static. Also, everything was now in black and white. Duct D also had paths leading to several other areas in the building, however all of the entrances were illuminated with neon glows. Stephan the Retard peeked inside Duct Double E. "Its all Fuckin Dinasaurs!" he yelled. Confused, Davey looked inside Duct W. It the dining room of a medieval castle. Flyhead looked inside Duct E. "This is shitty man, it looks like home......holy crap.........except for all this MONEY.....and DRUGS........and where did all these freakin bitches come from?!?!

Bag of Hammers deduced that DUCT D had turned into some sort of WARP ZONE leading to The Past, the Future and to Alternate realities, several Realms and probebly a Dimention or 2. Bag of Hammers also voted unanimously NOT to return to their own Dimention. "They all hate us there!" said Davey. "Nobody Respects us and they all think we suck anyway so Fuck it" agreed Flyhead.

Fuck it, indeed. And so began The Adventure of Bag of Hammers Extreme......

Discography

The Sample Rock
01. Weenie Pop
02. Erbalz
03. Let's Beat A Kat (With A Bat)
04. On The D
05. Nipple-Cox
06. The Sample Rock/Peristaltic Rush

Home-les/Bag of Hammers - L.S.D. (Lost Sun Disciple)
01. 100% Natural
02. All Y'all Hoez/Lost Sun Disciple
03. RED
04. What Wood You Do?
05. Needless
06. Underwater
07. My Nuts
08. Painkillerz (Demo 95)
09. Get The Fuck Away From Me
10. Kill Yo Self (Feat. Evol)
11. END
12. D. (Island of My Own)



Back Up Junkie!

01. Intro
02. Dutch Oven
03. Lowdown
04. Beginning To End
05. Yogi Bare
06. 8-T-FO (Live)
07. Showed Improve/Kevin's Song
08. SickSickSicks's
09. Your Mom Hates Me (Feat. Evol & DJ Postal)
10. Lettin' off Steam
11. On The D (Davie's RMX)
12. Gingerbread Squah
13. Dopeman
14. Let's Treat The Clones Like Crap
15. Facts of Life
16. The Bagadelic Rukus
17. That Pig
18. Outro
19. BIGSLAM (Feat. Evol)




...When I Ate Your Brain (Maxi-Single)
01. Let's Beat A Kat (With A Bat)
02. That Pig
03. Feel My Organ
04. Fuck
05. ...When I Ate Your Brain

Return of The Crack Whores Vol. 1
01. Intro
02. Return of The Crack Whores
03. ...When I Ate Your Brain
04. Flyhead
05. LambAllDay
06. Weenie Pop Revisited
07. King Boilermaker
08. 2 Much Love (For Your Mouth and Your Hands)
09. The Mind of A Thug (Bossanova Style)
10. Monica Doesn't Play Attention...
11. Super Luigi Land
12. Thors Woosey Groove
13. Eating a Bowl of Cereal
14. Waiting in front of LARYN HILLs apartment (with a lead pipe)
15. Drop The Bass
16. I Don't Wanna Go To Sleep (Feat. DJ PostaL)
17. Outro



Return of The Crack Whores Vol. 2

01. Intro
02. Return of the Crack Whores 2
03. Lets beat a Kat (with a bat)
04. Davey Gravey 2099
05. Fuck
06. On the lamb
07. Pimpery
08. Peeing in the sink
09. ITOLLAHOE
10. Killing A Lamb
11. Wheels on the Bus
12. You'd do it if you loved me...
13. I Don't Use Dope
14. Boxcutter
15. Rockin this weekend
16. Outro




Return of The Crack Whores Vol. 3 - DJ Flyhead - Mouthful of Barbedwire...& Crack!

01. Intro
02. (If You Were) My GIRLFRIEND
03. Manip-U-Lator (Feat. Davey Gravey)
04. the Human Alarm Clock
05. Def Star
06. It's So Easy (Feat. Davey Gravey)
07. Pucker Up BUTTercup (Feat. Ultramadness)
08. Livin' An iLLusion (Feat. Evol)
09. We R The BORG
10. the Next ASS 2 Kiss (Feat. Stroke-Face)
11. Where's my PIZZA?!?
12. JETT
13. HULK HOGAN on CRACK




Return of The Crack Whores Vol. 4 - The EviL Davey Gravey - Heaven Is A Crack House

01. where the good folks go
02. no rest for the WICKED
03. the DEVILs inside (Feat. FLYHEAD)
04. AH HA HA HA HA
05. i wish i was DEAD
06. LYCANTHROPY
07. the HAUNTING of DAVID GRAVEY
08. gril scout cookies
09. beating girls up (Feat. EVOL)
10. the FRIGHT ZONE (Feat. FLYHEAD)
11. SATANS IN THE HOUSE
12. MAGGOT FOOD (Feat. FLYHEAD)
13. my dads GUN




Bride of The AIDS Brain
01. The Brain
02. Closed Head Injury
03. Digging up Aallyah's Body (Feat. Dead By 28)
04. I can't go 4 that
05. Smoke 'em If you got 'em (Feat. Queen Bee)
06. Awww Damn...
07. Flair Country (Feat. Stephan The Retard)
08. "8" (Feat. Mike E Clark)
09. REVENGE of the AIDS BRAIN



Bride of The AIDS Brain Version 2
01. The Brain
02. Closed Head Injury
03. Digging up Aallyah's Body (Feat. Dead By 28)
04. I can't go 4 that
05. Smoke 'em If you got 'em (Feat. Queen Bee)
06. Awww Damn...
07. Flair Country (Feat. Stephan The Retard)
08. "8" (Feat. Mike E Clark)
09. REVENGE of the AIDS BRAIN
10. You Greaseball
11. Piddley-Weenis (Feat. Ultramaddness)
12. Thors Woosey Groove (Live at the Old Miami, Detroit)



A Decade of Debauchery (The Very Best of Bag of Hammers...) (1994-2004)
01. Introduction
02. Dutch Oven
03. Beginning 2 End
04. Lets Beat a Kat (with a Bat)
05. ...when I ate your Brain
06. LambAllDay
07. King Boilermaker
08. Itollahoe
09. Thors Woosey Groove
10. Peeing in the sink
11. D3 (Island of My Own)
12. Satan's in the house
13. The Fright Zone
14. Lycanthropy
15. Wheres my Pizza?!?
16. If you were my Girlfriend
17. Hulk Hogan on Crack
18. Silent Technology War
19. Burge Tyme (Feat. Stephan the Retard)
20. Digging up Aaliyah's Body (Feat. Dead by 28)
21. CLosed Head Injury
22. Funk Detroit (Radio Edit)



The Adventures of Bag of Hammers Vol. 1...Weed N' Coffee

01. Runnin Up on PPL and Squeezin' Their Colostomy Bag
02. Fuck Detroit
03. Picture Day
04. Much Tookie: TNG
05. The Grocery Store
06. Bite My (pants) Wire!
07. The Crinkle Binkle
08. The Customer is Always.....
09. I.P. Blood
10. I'm a Slut
11. Runnin' Wit Tha Devil
12. WTF
13. Pussy on XXX-Mas
14. The Babysitter
15. Main St.
16. Dirty Sanchez (or The Legend of El Diablo)
17. The Severed Head Waltz
18. Thad Azzzzz
19. S.T.D.
20. While My TurnTable Gently Weeps
21. I'm Quitting the Band (and I want my Stuff Back!)
22. Nobody Understands Pt. I
23. Nobody Understands Pt. II



A Very EXTREME Bag of Hammers Christmas...
01. Bag of Hammers - It's Christmas
02. Bag of Hammers - Coupla' Misfits (Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, CHRISTMAS!)
03. Stephan The Retard - Yankee Doodle Santa
04. Bag of Hammers: EXTREME - {(It's) Awsomely Extreme (Christmas Once Again)}

Stephan The Retard - Special Olympics EP
01. Intro
02. Friday (is my Drug Day)
03. Head Hoe
04. RETARD in Space
05. My Car is Always Broke
06. Burger Tyme (Feat. Bag of Hammers)
07. Special Olympics

Stephan The Retard - I'm Wee Todd Did

01. Introduction
02. Bio of a Retard
03. AllWork and No Play
04. A Penis the Sizeof a Horse's
05. Clap X 36 = A Song You Like
06. Diggin' Holes
07. Fat Chick Thrilla (Feat. Bag of Hammers)
08. Florence the Talking Car
09. How's it Goin'
10. Mr. Windle
11. My Car is Alway Broke
12. Something's Missing
13. The Alphabet Jam
14. Will You Be My Friend?

 


Stephan The Retard - I'm Wee Todd Did (Re-Release)

01. Introduction
02. Bio of a Retard
03. AllWork and No Play
04. A Penis the Sizeof a Horse's
05. Clap X 36 = A Song You Like
06. Diggin' Holes
07. Fat Chick Thrilla (Feat. Bag of Hammers)
08. Florence the Talking Car
09. How's it Goin'
10. Mr. Windle
11. My Car is Alway Broke
12. Something's Missing
13. The Alphabet Jam
14. Will You Be My Friend?

 


Stephan The Retard - All Retards Don't Goto Heaven...
01. All Retards Don't Goto Heaven...
02. I'm a Dummy
03. Party Pooper
04. Ode to Helen Keller
05. Middle-tro
06. My Life is not a Gimmick! (Feat. Bag of Hammers)
07. Magic Johnson is an AIDS Faker (Feat. DJ Flyhead)
08. Girls Wif Zits (Feat. Davey Gravey & Dead by 28)
09. Goodnight Stephan

The rest of the cd covers coming as soon as I find them!

Audio

The Adventures of Bag of Hammers Vol. 1: Weed N' Coffee Sampler
01. Funk Detroit (Radio Edit)
02. Mucho Tookie: TNG
03. Picture Day (Snippet) (Produced By Mike E Clark)
04. The Grocery Store (Snippet)
05. Thad Azzzzz (Snippet)
06. Runnin' Wit Tha Devil (Snippet)
07. The Babysitter (Snippet) (Produced By Mike E Clark)
08. Nobody Understands Pt. II (Snippet)

Bag of Hammers: Extreme - Live On The Zone in Detroit
(11/20/2004)

Gallery

 

Important Links
Bag of Hammers Offical Site
Stephan The Retard's Offical Site
World Championship Wrecords Offical Site